I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
