In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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