In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
