i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
