Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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