I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
