Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
