dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
