Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
