Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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