her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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