we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
