I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
