there was a trapeze. enough said
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
