I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
