Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
