arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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