I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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