Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
