he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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