Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
