operation harelip BJ is a go
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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