I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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