Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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