fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
