are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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