So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
