I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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