Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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