so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
