I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
