WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
