She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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