kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
