Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
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