i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
