Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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