me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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