I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
i think i just lost a toe
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
