OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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