you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
