Soap is not a condiment
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
