If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
