he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
