Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
