about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
