I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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