good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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