Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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