Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
