i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
