peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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